Attention all units...
Attention all units... Please be advised of a recent Code 39 (negligent injury) at the Village Yarn and Tea Shop.
Victim said she "may have" slipped and fallen, and that as she was bracing herself to land, her credit card "may have" swiped through the card reader, causing reckless stash enhancement. The victim appeared to be in some sort of consumerist, fiber-induced daze, and was fuzzy on the details of the incident. "It all happened so fast..." she said. Victim also stated that she personally was not injured, but that her bank account "felt used" by the incident.
The shops owner was heard saying, "But everything was at least 20% off!" We also overheard something about "crochet" and "granny square bag," but couldn't piece together any solid leads from the information. The on-scene units were unsure who to blame for the incident, as both the shop's staff and the victim seemed rather pleased by the whole thing, so no citations were issued. Be advised that we will be conducting close surveillance on these kinds of shops in the future, as it appears that this sort of injury may be a chronic problem. See photos, which will be marked as exhibits "A" and "B". There was more fiber evidence on hand, but we could not photograph all of it appropriately.
That is all.
